African american women: Should I shave my hair?

Hi, I'm african american and with little native american blood. When I was a little girl (Now 16) I had really long hair like my grandmother and my aunt.Like back length hair. Since I got older My mom went into my hair and broke off all of my hair and put dangerous chemical's like petroleum gel and harmful product's. Even relaxers. And started to put Weave in my hair and it made my chances of growing hair worse by breaking off. And she really thinks she knows what she doing and later admits that she DOESN'T have a clue what she's doing.And since this summer begin's I was looking at real black health growth on video's that shows real black women can grow long hair and I tried looking at tutorial's on the web of what and what not to do. And the dont's are "Don't put chemical's such as gel's,petroleum etc.," and I start to wash my hair once a week and tried to put nothing but oil's. But my mom gets mad of what i'm doing with my hair. and she makes me put that crap in my hair and I tried so hard for these past two month's of me trying to not put nothing but oil's. I finally had it with weaves,and perm's, and I'm trying to get a comb Straightener without using perm's.Also I have a nest in the back of my hair because I have a hard time trying to wrap my hair at night but it won't stay on for long. I was thinking about shaving some of my hair off because my hair is that messed up because she keeps putting her hand's in it. for example, combing my hair harshly with small combs, and over processing my hair leaving me nothing but a burnt scalp because she takes so long.And last but not least she hovers over salon stylist's and pasting them she wants them to do what she wants. But I'm old enough to do my own hair. What would you think if I shave my hair a little and regrow it like an Afro?